“A seeker does not believe what their parents, teachers and religious leaders say
but seek truth through their own experience” ~ Sagren Govender
Why are people so focused on success yet in reality they want to live a happy life with as little stress as possible? Success in the conventional sense is someone who has achieved their goals. But, have you noticed how many successful people are unhappy? They have high incomes, drive expensive cars, live in affluent suburbs and yet are unhappy. In the last blog I covered value systems. Chasing goals that are not aligned with your values will burn you out and lead to unhappiness. Another very important concept to understand, is belief systems. Our beliefs are our truth. They are the lenses through which we see the world. I was once at a workshop and one of the attendees was a young lady who shared with us that she would like to manifest and attract the ideal man for herself because she didn’t have luck in relationships. Later she mentioned that “all men are dogs”. That deep seated belief sabotaged every relationship she had with a man. How about people who want money but don’t have it because they believe that money is the root of all evil? Just like I did with my value system I analyzed my belief system. A good starting point for me was to see where I was defending my ideas. During arguments with Jennifer if I heard something like “you are so bull headed” or “you just don’t want to understand” or “why can’t you see it my way?” it would trigger introspection. Through introspection I became conscious of many of my beliefs. I found that most of my beliefs were not actually my own. Meaning I did not consciously choose the majority of my beliefs. My behavior was due to years of unchecked habits created by my beliefs. I inherited or maybe a better word is accepted family, cultural and community beliefs.There are empowering and limiting beliefs. If you did not read last week’s blog, Jennifer is my wife. You can get glues of your beliefs by paying attention to what you agree with and what you don’t.
After having kids I realized that if unchecked I will pass my beliefs onto my kids. Naturally parents will want to pass on empowering beliefs to their children but the world is changing at a rapid pace and what worked in the past doesn’t necessarily work today. Many ideas we have about how the world works are based on old beliefs which pass on from parents to children or from generation to generation. The belief highlighted by Robert Kiyosaki in his book Rich Dad Poor Dad is for children to go to school, study hard and get a high paying job as a specialist. Today we know that unless youngsters have a deep desire to serve the world as a specialist e.g. doctor, engineer, accountant or plumber these youngsters will be prisoners to their jobs. It’s a means to support their lifestyle. On the outside they will be seen as a success but within themselves they will feel something is amiss and this leads to stress. Apart from genetic causes these stresses leads to your system becoming out of balance. This imbalance manifests ailments within you. Today ailments such as high blood pressure are treated as if it’s the norm.
What we’ve learnt during the past ten years about how our brain operates exceeds the knowledge of our entire human history. This alone makes me pay attention. It makes me want to research and understand what makes us tick. Many of us are living our lives through outdated beliefs. Just compare the information we have today regarding health, money, social issues, environmental issues, work/career, relationships and my favorite religion/spirituality. The majority of people are living their lives based on beliefs passed on from parents, teachers and religious preachers. When parents cannot answer the questions from their enquiring children the usual response is “just do as I say”. I am not advocating disrespect to parents and other elders because they are doing their best with what they know. What I am encouraging is to check whether the belief is truth for you. You may have a gift within you to share with the world. A gift which may remain hidden until you have a shift in your thinking.
If you are seeking success in the conventional way then a high performance coach can help you. High performance coaches will hold you accountable to you goals and drive you until you hit those goals. But if you are looking at having a deep relationship within yourself and attaining success on your terms then educate yourself on wellness and well-being or subscribe to this blog and I will share strategies with you.
For the next seven days consciously question your values and beliefs. If they resonate with the person you want to be then keep it if they don’t then it’s time to develop new ones.
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